Why has it been tough?
Let's see, I finally stood up for myself but me being me, I retreated and sucked it up again. I could say that it was a mistake or I could say that it was a learning experience. It was really a learning experience for me. I realized I'm a chicken and that I can't stand up for myself. I almost lost one of my best friends, it was hard. I cried. Then we just pretended everything was okay but it wasn't. There were scars there, that weren't fixed. I think her and I are both bruised but we both are trying to pretend that everything is okay. Just like the quote, "Fake it till you make it." I'm gonna fake it till I make it. Right now, I'm trying to smile and pretend that nothing is wrong. I think it's working pretty good.
Also, some health problems have come up. I'm having really bad joint problems and I'm only fourteen. That's not good. And, I'm having some skin problems that might have something to do with some auto-immune problems. Or it could just be a birth mark, I don't really know.
Hmm, and I got my heart broken twice. By the same person. This person is a jerk. No matter how hard I try to pretend that I'm okay and that it didn't hurt, it hurts a lot. But he is not going to hold me down. I'm gonna grow up and just laugh at him because I didn't deserve anything he said to me. I was pretty much just a punching bag for his words. I guess it just made me realize how important my friends are. So, where I am now is where I should of been a month ago. Single and loving it.
That's what I am now. No more boys. He opened my eyes to what they can do to your mind being. My world came crashing down, but I recovered and I realized I don't need boys.
Before you say I love you, realize who the person is not just who they are to you. Make sure they treat your friends right, the person I loved didn't treat my friends right. And that wasn't right. Put your friends first. They are important. I don't know what I would do if I lost my friends.
I would probably die,
Dreamer of Rainbows.
